One day I went to the cell of a holy brother and lay down in a corner as I was ill, expecting that he would visit me for God’s sake. There was nobody in that country (whom I knew). I had seen this brother several times at night, as he stood, a long time ago. He usually woke for the service earlier than any of the brethren. Then he would begin with Psalms and would recite them diligently. Then, of a sudden, he would leave the service, fall on his face, and beat, so to speak a hundred times, with his head on the earth violently and quickly, on account of the fervour which grace had kindled in his heart. Thereupon he would rise and salute the cross. Then again he prostrated himself, rose, saluted the cross and again fell down on his face. This he repeated so many times that I was not able to count them. Who could have counted the many kneelings which that brother performed these nights ?
He would also approach the cross and kiss it twenty times, full of reverence and of fervour, in love mingled with fear ; thereafter he continued his reciting of Psalms. From time to time, when he was no longer able to bear that flame of joy, he was suddenly overwhelmed by frequent currents of deliberations, which kindled him with their fervour ; and he would elevate his voice because he could not restrain himself.
And I was astonished at the grace which was with that brother and I wondered at his zeal and alacrity in the works of God.
After the morning service, when he sat down for recitation, he was like one in the state of rapture. At every verse he recited he would fall on his face several times ; and at many of the words he would stretch his hands towards heaven and utter the glorification several times.
He was a man of middle age, nearly forty years old. He ate but little ; his temperament was dry and hot. And because he compelled himself, when his body could not bear it, he looked like a shadow from time to time, so that one pitied him on account of his thin face, which was vanishing and becoming as small as two fingers. Several times I said to him : moderate this strict rule of behaviour, my brother, and this beautiful way which thou treadest and do not disorder nor break thy rule as a spiritual chain, out of desire to add a small quantity of works with the result that thy whole course will be brought to a close. Eat moderately, but eat regularly. And make not thy way too long for thy strength, lest thou shouldst have to desist from it wholly.
Further he was compassionate and very bashful, he was glad to show compassion. He was honest by nature and easily persuaded, and prudent in God. Because of his honesty and joyous disposition he was liked by every one and they all loved him. He worked with all the brethren in day in their cells, when they had any, now for three, now for four days ; every evening he returned to his own cell, till the work of the brother was finished. He was very well skilled in this work.
If he possessed any thing, and one of the brethren begged him to give it him, he gave it him even though he was in great need of it. He was very sensitive before all sorts of persons and was not able to say : I have not, or : I want it myself. And that he regularly left his cell to work with the brethren, was because of his sensitiveness before others ; so he compelled himself, although not inclined to go out. And several times he spoke to me about his aversion to leave his cell. This was the divine behaviour of that wonderful brother. ++++ Concerning another solitary. Once I went to the cell of an old solitary, an excellent man who loved me greatly. He was somewhat quaint in his words, but illuminated in his thoughts and profound. And what he choose to tell, he spoke with a certain good-heartedness. He scarcely left his cell, except for the holy mysteries (NT : The Eucharist). He was constantly concentrated and in solitude.
Once I said to him : Father, I purpose going on Sunday and sitting down in the gallery of the church and to eat early in the morning. Then every visitor will see and despise me. The solitary said to me : It is written : He who offends the lay people, will not see light. Nobody knows thee in these regions, neither do people know what thy fame is. So they will say : The solitaries eat early in the morning. There is a greater reason. There are novices of weak deliberations, many of whom will be edified by thee now, but if they see thee (eating), they will turn back. The ancient Fathers could do such things, because of the signs and the forces which were wrought through them and because of the great name and fame they possessed. These things they practised, each of them in order to be despised and blamed, and to obscure the fame of his behaviour and to keep far from him the cause of haughtiness. But what is the necessity for thee to act in this way ? Doest thou not know that even for the behaviour (of solitaries) moderation is necessary and a fixed time for every one of their works ? But what necessity is there for thee regarding such things ? Thou doest not follow a distinct discipline, nor art thou famous. Thou hast the same discipline as the other brethren. Therefore, thou doest not gain profit for thyself by doing so, but thou art harmful for others.
And this behaviour (NT : assuming the habits of sin), is not profitable for all men, but for the great and perfect only, because it involves relaxation of the senses. For the novices and those of the middle state however it is very harmful. For they, on the contrary, need watchfulness and subduing of the senses. For the trained solitaries have passed (the period of) watchfulness, as has been said, and mix with what they like, yet know to gain profit. A simple merchant will lose greatly in great affairs ; in small ones he often easily comes forward. Therefore, as I have said, in all work moderation is necessary ; and every discipline has its fixed time. Every one who, before its time, begins with what is above his rank, will be injured and gain no profit.
If thou desirest this, first suffer that disdain which Providence sends thee without thy willing it, gladly, without being troubled thereat and without hating those who disdain thee. ++++ Concerning another solitary. Once I was in intercourse with the virtuous one that had tasted from the tree of life in the sweat of his soul, from the morning of youth until the evening of old age. And after much conversation in which he taught me concerning excellence, he also said this to me : Every prayer, in which the body does not participate and by which the heart is not affected, is to be reckoned as an abortion without a soul.
Further he said to me : Have not the slightest intercourse with any man who strives after victory in his words, and is astute in spirit and of keen senses, lest thou destroy the serenity thou hast acquired by works and thy heart become full of darkness and trouble.
Once I went to the cell of one of the Fathers. This saintly man scarcely ever opened to any one. When he saw from his window that it was I, he said : Thou wishest to enter ? I said to him : Ay. When I had entered and we had prayed and sat down and he had spoken with me concerning many things, I asked him at last : What shall I do, my lord ? There are persons who constantly visit me, without my profiting by their intercourse. To forbid them to enter would be painful to me. They often hinder me even in my usual service. But I am not able to say so to them openly. So I am much troubled by this matter.
This blessed man said to me : When such people visit thee, people who like to be lazy and who spread idle words, and when they have sat down a little time, assume the air that thou desirest to stand for service. And say to (thy visitor), whosoever he be, with an obeisance : My brother, we will perform the service. For the time of my service is come and I may not overlook it. For it would be hard for me to combine it with the next prayer ; that would cause me trouble ; and I may not omit any service without (the plea of) necessity. At present there is no necessity to let the time pass. - This shalt thou urge till he stand up with thee for the service. And if he say : Perform thou thy service, now I will go away - make an obeisance before him and say : Be kind to me and perform with me this single service, that I may be helped by thy prayer. Then, when he agrees and you are standing, make thy service longer than usually. So thou shalt do with them as often as they enter. And when they see that thou art not of their kind and that thou doest not love idleness, then they will no more come where they hear that thou art. Behold, thou shalt be no respecter of persons and neglect none of the works of God.
If, however, (thy visitor) be one of the Fathers, or a foreign brother who is fatigued, then deem it an important service to remain in intercourse with him. But if this stranger also should be one of those who love idle words, content him as much as thou canst and dispatch him quickly.
Once one of the saints said to me : When I hear, that there are people who perform work in their cell and also accomplish the rules of the cell without failure, I wonder how it is possible that they are not troubled.
He also said a wonderful thing : verily, I say that even when I go to make water, this troubles my constancy (of mind) ; because practice turns away from me the complete discernment which I have mastered.
A solitary asked a brother : What shall I do ? Often I desire a thing and am in need of it on account of illness, or work, or some other reason, so that by its aid I would nigh well be able to lead a life of solitude. But if I see anyone who needs this thing as I do, then compassion causes me to give it him.
Or if any one asks me for this thing, I am pressed by love and by command so that I give it him. But afterwards I require this thing. And my need causes me care and disturbance and troubled thoughts, and it takes away my concentration of spirit and my care for the usual service of solitude. So that I am compelled many times to leave my solitude and go and ask for this thing. And when I restrain myself from going out, I am in great need and perturbance of mind. On account of this thing I am constantly shaken and disturbed without knowing which of the two I shall choose : that which destroys and disturbs my peace for the sake of the peace of my neighbours ; or to abandon this, so as to remain in solitude and renunciation, and to care for the small things of my self only, without any inclination to think many thoughts or to care for others.
I beg to learn, in answer to this, what is good and worthy of recommendation. The solitary answered saying : All compassion is either love, or alms, or a gift. And every becoming thing, and every deed reckoned as being godly which destroys thy solitude and bereaves thee of thy freedom regarding the world, and causes thee care and troubles thy thoughts concerning divine things, and breaks the order of thy prayers and brings about troubled deliberations and takes from thee the concentrated occupation with recitation and freedom from distraction, and destroys thy watchfulness and makes thee instead of a prisoner one who walks where he likes and (changes) thee from a solitary into one who mingles (with other people) and awakens in thee buried passions and relaxes the asceticism of thy senses and quickens thee again who were dead to the world and casts thee out of thy angelic service which is concentrated solitary thought, and sets thy part with the service of the laity - this (sort of) righteousness may perish. To accomplish alms of love to thy neighbour, consisting in bodily comfort, belongs to the service of lay-people, or of those solitaries who are inferior to service in solitude or practice a mingled solitude in the company of one another and through constant visits (NT : literally : entering and departing). - But those solitaries who have earnestly chosen to be free from the world in body and in spirit in order to establish in their mind the prayer of solitude which is the being dead to the things that perish and to all thought of practice and seeing and recollecting (worldly) things, they do not serve Christ by any service in these bodily things or with a righteousness founded upon manifest deeds with the intermediation of persons in order to be justified thereby, but (they serve Him) by mortifying their members which are upon the earth, according to the word of the Apostle, offering at all times the pure sacrifices of their thoughts as the first fruits of their service and their bodily affections through patience in trouble for the sake of that which they expect. The behaviour of the solitaries is like that of the angels. So it is not just to neglect the service of heavenly things and to gather righteousness by (practising) earthly things.
A brother was blamed because he provided the wants of the poor from his own possessions. He answered proudly : Solitaries are near to alms. He that blamed him said : Well known is the solitary who is not near to alms ; who without shame can say to our Lord, as has been said : Behold, we have forsaken all, and followed thee. This is he that does not possess anything on the earth, nor does he perform bodily labour for earthly things, his thoughts do not turn to any of the visible things in the world, nor does he expect to acquire anything. If any one offers anything to him, he only accepts according to his want ; he never looks at aught else. But he is in his dealings like a bird, the which does not think of giving alms ; for he has a service more excellent than alms.
How can he give others from that of which he is liberated ? But as long as a man works with his hands and receives from others, he is also obliged to give alms. To neglect this would be a manifest transgression of God’s commandment. But if he does not make progress with God in hidden things, and does not know to serve God in spirit and despise the manifest things which lie within his power, what further hope has he to acquire life ? Be he anathema. ++++ ADMONITION OF ONE OF THE FATHERS CONCERNING THE RIGHT SOLITUDE
I wonder at those who trouble themselves in their course of solitude because they desire to comfort others by bodily things.
He also said : It is not becoming to mingle with the service of solitude the thought of any thing in the world, safe only those which it is possible to perform in solitude. And we have to honor every solitary performance in its place, lest we become confuse in our solitary course. For he who cares about many things, is a slave of many persons. He who lets go all and cares for the steadfastness of his soul, is a friend of God. Behold, those who practise alms and completely show their love of neighbours by bodily things, are many in the world. But those who beautifully serve in solitude and have intercourse with God are scarcely to be found. Or who are, among those who practise righteousness and gain it by earthly things, those from whom we may receive one of the gifts which those who work in solitude receive from God ?
The same has further said : If thou art a lay man, practise the behaviour which suits lay people. But if thou art a solitary, gain profit by the labours by which the solitaries gain profit. If, however, thou wilt practise both, thou wilt fall short in both. The work of solitaries is this : to become liberated from sensible things and to be constantly with God in the thoughts of the heart and through fatiguing the body by prayer. Judge thou thyself whether it be possible to despise these things and to fill their place with worldly excellence. Or should a solitary be able to practise in solitude two kinds of behaviour, the outward and the inward one viz. meditation on God and burdening his heart with the care of others ? I say even this that he who has honestly willed to lead a life with God, and leaves all, fixing his attention solely upon matters of behaviour - that even he will not be able to accomplish without shortcomings all the duties of the practice of solitude. He is found wanting in the bearing of his load, though he desists absolutely from the use and the care of the world - not to mention the case of his being occupied by many other thoughts.
To our Lord are given those who administer and visit His servants and His sons. He has also chosen those who minister before Himself.
We do not only see, in the affairs of earthly kings, that those who are constantly with the king and participate of his secrets are more glorious and elevated in their ranks than those who accomplish their outward affairs with love, but, also in divine affairs, it is easy to see what a freedom of speech those possess who, in intercourse with Him possess the mysteries of prayer at all times, and over what riches of heaven and earth they reign, and how apparent is their mastership over all created natures, which, without dispute, obey their words as those of God. They are stamped with the manifest sign of His image, with a glory greater than that of all rational and irrational (NT : literally : speaking and mute) beings, greater than that of those who serve God with possessions and earthly things and seek to content Him in (the company of) their companions. This may be very beautiful, but as to us, we have not to take as examples those who stand at a low degree in the service of God, but those who are athletes in our path (NT : in the case of : mystic course) and the saints who go our course, and those who once for all have given up and turned their back on the earth and have taken hold of the vault of heaven.
Whereby have the ancient saints pleased God, those who have trodden the way of our behaviour and have excelled : the holy John of Thebaïs, that treasury of excellence and fountain of prophecy ? Did he comfort his companions with bodily things, in his reclusion, or did he please God by prayer ? I confess that there have been (solitaries) who also in these things pleased (God) and gained profit. But they are less in number than those who pleased God by prayer and by renouncing all things. What their help to their follow brethren who live in solitude is well known. It consists in helping them as often as they are in want of a profitable word or (in helping them) by offering prayer in behalf of them. Apart from these things, it is not wise for him who dwells in solitude to give place in his heart to recollections or thoughts concerning any one as far as bodily things are concerned. ’Render unto Caesar the things which are Caesar’s : and unto God the things that are God’s and what belongs to a neighbour is his, and what belongs to God is His’ does not apply to those who dwell in solitude, but to those who walk without. It is not the duty of him who performs the service of the angels with the thoughts of the soul, to please in earthly things ; namely to have thought for manual work or to taking from others and giving to others. His service is in heaven.
It is not becoming for the solitary to allow the thought of anything to move and drive away his spirit from before God. If, however, anyone dare to adduce the example of Paul, who also performed (manual) work and also gave alms, we reply to him : Paul was unique and a master in all things. We know not that another Paul has ever existed who was a master in all things like him. Show it me, if thou art found to be another Paul, and I will believe thee. Do not, therefore, compare the matters of government with the inner practice. For the work of the heralds is different from that of solitude.
But if thou wilt master solitude, be like a Cherub who has no care for earthly things. And think that there is no other man in the created world, excepted thee alone, and God about whom thou thinkest, as thy Fathers who have gone the way before thee, have taught thee. Unless a man harden his heart and restrain his compassion forcibly so as to be far from the thought of any man, should it be for the sake of God or of any bodily being - but he shall only be in prayer, at the times appointed to him, lest love or care of anyone enter his heart - it is not possible for him to be freed from the trouble of thought or to be in solitude. So much is certain. But when a deliberation is awake in thee, urging thee to the thought of anyone under the pretext of excellence, the purpose of which is to drive away from thee the peace that was becoming customary to thy heart through the recollection of God, then say to it : it is beautiful to lead a life of love and compassion for the sake of God, but I do not seek it, even for the sake of God, so it only remains to me to drive thee away for the sake of God. Thus the solitary will speak. Then the deliberation will say to him : And I flee from thee for the sake of God.
Aba Arsenius, for the sake of God, did not open his mouth to speak, neither profitable nor gratuitous words. Another, however, for the sake of God, spoke the whole day and received all the strangers that visited that place. The former, in stead of this, chose silence and solitude.
Thus he voyaged with the spirit of God on the ocean of this world in the ship of solitude, in exalted peace, as is shown in revelation to the athletes who investigate this thing.
This is another denomination of solitude : rest from all things. If thou art full of trouble even in solitude, because thy body is troubled by manual service and various affairs, and because thy soul is troubled by the thought of others, what peace doest thou possess then to care for many things and to please God ? Judge thyself. It appears to me ridiculous to talk about mastering the course of solitude without abandoning all things and the care of all things.